Today I decided to take a break from all these high powered executive positions I've been hunting recently and instead apply for something that was a little more attainable, something more in my purview, something that I had a real chance of securing an interview for - which is why I applied to be a lap/pole dancer at the Angels Club in West Bromwich.
You may now be scoffing at the very thought - after all, you say to yourself, what kind of dancing experience do you really have Oliver? (well, enough to run a festival, that 's for sure!) But, fear not, the advert clearly stated that "Free Pole Dancing Lessons given to unexperienced dancers."
In my application letter I explained that I would need to call upon their kind offer of free pole dancing lessons to bring me up to speed. I also described myself as "I'm 32yrs old but I am frequently told that I look much younger. I am 6' tall with medium length dark, curly hair, very blue eyes, full lips and a good figure." Which is a relatively accurate description that simply omits the fact that I'm male...
I don't possess a pole at home, but there is a lamppost about twenty yards down the street so I have the opportunity to start practising my moves should they ask me to audition. I am, though, currently undecided as to whether I should send them a suitably posed photograph if they request it ;-)