Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Job No. 17 - Designer

Sometimes, a job will appeal to you on a professional basis; it's a job you have the skills and/or experience to carry out. Other times, you will find a job that appeals on an emotional level; it's a job that delivers huge amounts of personal satisfaction. But, once in a while, there comes a job that manages to combine both the professional and the emotional - it doesn't happen often but, when it does, you need to make sure you go for it! Which is why today, I've applied to be a Lingerie Designer...

I've been designing video games for twelve years - they're remarkably complex affairs with hundreds and hundreds of pages of (quite anal) gameplay descriptions, object lists, artificial intelligence state diagrams and level maps - so I'm thinking it's surely got to be easier than that to design a pair of panties. And, while a push-up bra represents an altogether different level of difficulty, I'd hope to make my mark in the less cutthroat world of suspenders and girdles before stepping up to playing with the big boys...

In my application letter, I skirted around the fact that I'd never designed a piece of lingerie in my life (although, that's not to say I've never had designs on lingerie!):

Dear Justine

I wish to apply for the position of lingerie designer, as advertised on retailchoice.com

I have more than twelve years design experience, on some of the most successful products of the last decade, and believe I could easily translate my skillset. I have an eye for aesthetics, enjoy working under pressure and believe that the philosophy I have developed in my work over the last twelve years will still stand me in good stead - I believe, if I don't want to play with it, then who else will?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Oliver.

I felt sure that the my professional attitude came across in the application letter and the philosophy I adhere to when designing games is bound to prove very successful in the world of women's lingerie. However, unlike my time spent in game development, I have no intention of staying up until the early hours of the morning testing the products I've designed...

6 comments:

Paigan said...

Witty as usual Oliver - any look getting the job?

Jeanette said...

Whilst reading your blog I
discovered the perils of laughing out loud with a mouthfull of coffee!

lism. said...

Hilarious idea for a blog - looking forward to reading more!

Christa said...

Well....a designer is a designer...right? ;)

Oliver Davies said...

I've not heard back so far about this job but I'm sure it's only a matter of time...

Victoria said...

As someone who has worked as a lingerie designer for the last 7 years I was very amused to read your blog!!
Would like to know if you get invited to interview stage....!!!