Today I thought I would indulge my artistic sensibilities and so decided that I would apply to join Bloomberg as their London office's Photo Editor.
The job description asked that candidates 'should have at least three years experience as a photo editor on a major newspaper and be expert in Photoshop' and while, perhaps, I should have at least three years experience as a photo editor on a major newspaper, I'm sure they'll understand that I've simply been far too busy doing other things during the last three years...*
The remainder of the job description said that I would have to 'edit photos and affix them to news stories'. Editing the photos sounds like a doddle and, dependent upon whether they want me to use glue, sellotape or blutack, I'm sure I can affix them to the stories with relatively few problems.
I was a bit worried that my CV - being so game-biased - might not show my prospective employers the full potential of my (so far, undeveloped) artistic abilities and, since there was no section to upload anything other than a CV on their website, I had to think on my feet (hopefully my initiative will impress them)! I decided to add an extra page to my CV entitled 'Pictures of Myself I have recently edited' and then affixed two photos I had edited only this afternoon.
Not only that but my choice of photos has a dual purpose - in the first photo I have put my head on James Bond, which, rather cunningly, allows me to also use this photo as a calling card when I wish to apply for the role of Mr. Bond in his next film outing. Meanwhile, in the second photo, I have put my face on Che Guevara, which, equally cunningly, allows me to also use this photo as a calling card when I wish to apply for the leadership of any popular socialist revolutionary movement...
I don't see how today's strategy can fail!
*with thanks for the advice from General Disorder