Sunday, September 24, 2006

Job No. 22 - Curator of Television

I had plans today to apply to be a Theatre Nurse. All the statistics I’ve found suggest that very few accidents actually occur within theatres, so I thought it likely that my lack of medical training could go unnoticed for quite some time...

I intended to apply to join a hospital which boasted a (possibly indulgent) seven theatres, which I imagine allows it to offer a diverse range of entertainment to its patients. Although, with the current financial state of the NHS, I guess they probably struggle to attract A-list celebrities anymore. But, my theatre nursing dreams were dashed when I found they only accepted applications from those who are registered (blast you, Equity!).

However, passing up on nursing allowed me to apply for a job I feel eminently qualified to undertake - Curator of Television at the National Museum of Photography, Film and Television. I ask you - is it really any wonder that British museums are constantly asking for more government funding when they waste £36,000 a year hiring someone to babysit their television set? But, not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I was quick to apply…

Hi Sabia

I wish to apply for the position of Curator of Television, as advertised on the Guardian website and have enclosed my CV for your consideration…

I believe I have the skills and experience that are necessary, having maintained my own audio-visual collection for more than sixteen years. I would be interested to find out the exact make/model that I would be responsible for but believe that with my experience I could rapidly adapt.

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards

Oliver

I decided to gloss over my relative lack of experience with plasma screen televisions as I was worried this might harm my chances of employment. And, if I get an interview, I’ve decided to offer to curate their DVD player at the same time for an extra five grand…

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