Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Job No. 24 - Receptionist

While scouring the educational jobs on the Guardian website, I was shocked to see how much some teachers are paid. Yes, on the news, we always seem to hear about how little renumeration they receive but - if you can manage to find employment as an English Teacher in Bedfordshire then you can take home, according to the advert, the rather tidy sum of just over £36 million per week. I think this is perhaps a little excessive, as it means that a Bedfordshire based English teacher can earn more in a year than the Gross Domestic Product of Equatorial Guinea...

However, being neither a greedy man nor an English teacher, I decided to pass up on this lucrative opportunity and, instead, applied for the position of Front of House Receptionist.

What really sold me on this particular position was the opportunity to work from (just outside of) home. I spent this afternoon with a tape measure, carefully measuring the front lawn and, by my estimation, there's easily room for a small desk, a swivel chair and (at a push) a filing cabinet - and I'll just run all the extension leads and telephone cables straight out through the living room window.

The job description mentions the need to 'meet and greet guests' but I'm rather hoping they'll be able to limit the number of simultaneous guests as, if I have more than four arriving at any one time, I'll likely run out of room and have to send them round to have a cup of coffee at my next-door neighbour's house...

My only real pressing concern was with regard to the effect of inclement weather - ideally, during the Autumn and Winter months, I'd like to utilise a small tent on the front lawn for my receptionist duties as things can get a little damp and I'd hate to be having to wring my mouse mat out at the end of every working day. I decided it best to air my concerns in my application letter:

Hi

I wish to apply for the position of Front of House Receptionist, as advertised on the Guardian website, and have attached my CV for your consideration...

The job appeals to me as it would give me an opportunity to work a lot nearer to home and I think the open environment would be a positive boon; however, my only concern is with regard to inclement environmental conditions - something I'm sure you're used to dealing with - and I was hoping you could provide some reassurance that this is an area where appropriate materials can be utilised if necessary?

I look forward to hearing from you.

Regards

Oliver.

Assuming they allow me the use of appropriate protection during poor weather, I am willing to start almost immediately and will aim to move my desk out onto the front lawn during the course of the weekend, ready to welcome my first set of guests...

4 comments:

Lottie said...

Only just started to read your blogs but hilariously funny and very dry humoured. Even if you get a job please don't stop applying!!! :-)

Anonymous said...

I applaud you for taking the high road and not succumbing to lure of BIG money. I wonder if your potential employer would consider you stepping inside whenever weather acts up. Couldn’t you perform some of your non place-bound duties inside? Good luck!!

adey jewkes said...

i too am unemployed, and i have taken a great deal of satisfaction from your blog. I have also decided that I want to be just like you when I grow up, so i have recently applied for a job as a fire dancer. however, i genuiely hope that i dont get even an interview!
keep on searching!

Oliver Davies said...

Glad you're enjoying the blog!

Anonymous - the idea of stepping inside during poor weather is good, but I'd then be a 'Just Inside of House Receptionist' and they've probably already got 3 of those..

Adey - Fire Dancing sounds interesting. But I will refuse to make any 'hot stuff' or 'canned heat in my heels' type puns. Not even one. :-)