Thursday, September 21, 2006

Special Update - Job No. 18

Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't create a special update simply to tell you how I got on with one of my job applications. But yesterday, I enjoyed such a wonderful series of emails with a recruitment company individual named Steve that I felt I really had to share the correspondence with you:

As you know, I applied for the position of Heavyweight Creative with the following letter:

Hi Steve

I would like to apply for the position of Heavyweight Creative, as advertised on the Guardian website. I have attached a recent CV with this email…

I have worked in the creative industries for twelve years, many of those in a dual managerial/creative role, and believe I have what it takes to motivate, lead and inspire.

My principal query concerns how greatly aesthetics will affect candidates in the selection process? I fall just below the discussed category and I’m curious as to whether this will have a negative effect on my chances – and, if so, whether it would be beneficial for my prospects to bulk prior to the interview process?

Best Regards

Oliver.

The reply I received from Steve was fairly standard, recruitment company fare...

Thank you for your application.

On this occasion you have been unsuccessful, however, I have found your CV of interest and have placed it on our internal CV document search engine.


But, I was concerned that I had been dismissed out-of-hand, purely based upon my weight, and that Steve had failed to realise the level of determination I possess so I immediately emailed him back:

Hi Steve

Thank you for your swift response (despite it being in the negative). I just wanted to advise you that, if it is an absolute imperative for this position, I feel I can reach the target in a matter of weeks. I’d hate for your clients to lose out on a talent, purely due to this issue of mass.

Regards

Oliver.

Again, Steve was quick to respond - but only to further dash my dreams...

Hi Oliver,
I totally appreciate your thoughts. Although my hands are tied as our client has set a criteria for us that unfortunately you don't meet at present.

Six kilograms? Now, six kilograms might not seem much to you - but to me, it was becoming a gulf of epic proportions. And so it was with a heavy heart that I wrote back to Steve to ask if I could, perhaps, get back in touch after I'd managed to increase my weight...

Hi Steve

I appreciate your candour – and I realise that your client has placed you under this restriction...

Thank you for your offer to keep hold of my CV – perhaps I could keep you in touch up to date with my gain progress and, if I reach the category limitations, maybe we could then re-evaluate my suitability for other heavyweight positions.

I appreciate your honesty in this.

Regards

Oliver.

Steve replied and was clearly concerned that he had offended me by pointing out that I didn't meet the target weight (it's ok - I can accept I just don't quite weigh in heavy enough):

Hi Oliver,
I hope didn't offend. I am by no means suggesting you aren't a heavy weight designer - believe me I'm not qualified to offer judgment on something like design.

I replied, putting his mind at rest, and letting him know that I wasn't going to let six little kilos keep me from taking my place as a Heavyweight Creative:

Hi Steve

No offence taken! I realise I’m probably fractionally short of the heavyweight mark – but it’s something I’m working on putting right! No apologies necessary…

Regards

Oliver

5 comments:

TheThirdPoliceman said...

eh? where did six kilograms come from...or am i missing something?

Nice exchange with "Steve", who clearly hasn't got a scooby doo.

Oliver Davies said...

The 6kg refers to the fact I am currently 6kg below the Heavyweight category - however, after eating a rather substantial Chinese takeaway tonight, I feel I am moving rapidly in the right direction! :-)

klee said...

is there a reason why you are still trying to reach the heavyweight category? you have been rejected for the position so whats the point? I find your experiment enormously entertaining.

TheThirdPoliceman said...

Ah, ok - yeah, I'm with you. Doh! Sorry.

Oliver Davies said...

Well, Klee, I had a look and it seems that the Heavyweight roles pay considerably more than the Middleweight roles. I'm sure the EU will soon move to legislate against such weight discrimination but, in the meantime, I've moved onto the 'Doughnut Diet' - even though I feel this may somewhat hinder my lap/pole dancing ambitions!