Job No. 33 - Head of Gymnastics

Today, while looking through the Guardian jobs pages, I stumbled across a position that, rather thoughtfully, gives candidates a considerable amount of time to prepare - Head of Gymnastics needed in time for 2012.

Thanks to the generous forethought of the trust involved (they remain nameless in the advert) it means that I have plenty of time to work on my interview techniques and my general level of gymnastic knowledge. Right now, I'm maybe not quite at my peak - flexibility a little reduced, carrying a bit of excess weight thanks to my doughnut diet of the other week - but by 2012 I'm sure I can be just the man they are looking for...

The advert stated:

The ideal applicant will have a minimum of 7 years experience of coaching or competing at a regional or national level, evidence of managing a gymnastics programme, dealt with competitions at all levels and will be a BGA full member.

However, I have calculated that - if I begin immediately - I will have six years experience of coaching by 2012 (which is pretty close) and I'm sure it can't be too hard to get the hang of managing gymnastic programmes - "do another back flip thing followed by one of those spinny doo-dahs" - I'll soon have them organised.

My only concern is with regard to the remuneration as the advert also states:

You could be rewarded by seeing a child who has gone through your programme pick up a medal at 2012.

This of course, tugs insistently at my heart strings. But it doesn't pay the bills, and I was rather hoping that my Head of Gymnastics role would be rewarded with cold, hard cash. I decided to raise this issue in my application letter:

Dear Sir/Madam

I am writing to apply for the position of Head of Gymnastics (ref. GJSLHG), as advertised in the Guardian, and have attached my CV for your consideration.

I am confident that, by 2012, I will have fully satisfied all of your requirements and that I can help ensure a gymnastic programme the like of which has never been seen before. By 2012 I anticipate being only one year short of the coaching requirement (give or take a few months) and I'm sure my other strengths can make up for this slight shortfall. Do you anticipate interviews being held prior to 2012?

I would be interested to know a little more about the method of remuneration - is it a role whose essential reward is garnered from one's achievements rather than being derived from more tangible monetary rewards?

I look forward to hearing from you soon.

Regards

Oliver.

I will spend the next six years working on my gymnastic skills - ready to emerge in 2012 as the qualified Head of Gymnastics they so, not particularly, desperately need!