Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Enough is enough...

Right near the start of the blog I decided to take off the comment moderation but, after coming back to my blog after a few days away to find a veritable feast of advertising for items such as steroids, teen sex movies and viagra, I've realised that I'm going to have to turn the moderation back on...

What does this mean for you if you want to leave a comment for me? Well, probably that it will take a day or two until I get around to checking out and approving (or deleting, if you're a spam merchant) your comment...

Sorry I've had to change things but there's only so many of these things I can take!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Job No. 76 - Resident Sex Therapist

While taking an idle wander through the Guardian jobs site this morning, I happened upon a role which intrigued me. And while I was sure it may prove to be hard work, I was certain that I could rise to the occasion as a Resident Sex Therapist at the Academy of Sex and Relationships in London...

As well as running workshops based on various exhibits (details of exactly what exhibits were rather vague) I would be tasked with creating touring exhibits. This led me to consider suggesting some form of sexual performance on a tandem – not only a vitally interesting touring exhibit but also extremely environmentally friendly). Additionally, I would have to be ‘on hand’ as a resident Sexpert to assist staff in engaging with the public (although, I have to say, I think this is taking the idea of staff development a little too far).

The chief requirements mentioned in the advert were that the candidate needs to be ‘dynamic, energetic and charming’ – three characteristics which I’m certain I can manage to fake during the course of an interview. I could turn up in a hurried fashion wearing a business suit (dynamic), tell the interviewer she’s wearing a smashing blouse (charming) before peeling off said business suit to reveal lycra shorts and vest and jogging out of the interview room (energetic). A plan that surely has success written all over it.

The person specification asked that candidates have a degree in the field but I’m certain that having studied the first year of an Economics degree should more than enough qualify me for the position. In my application letter I made sure that my overwhelming enthusiasm and creative thinking shone through:

Dear Roddy

I wish to apply for the position of Resident Sex Therapist, as advertised on the Guardian jobs site and have attached my CV for your consideration.

I am dynamic, energetic and charming and feel that I am fully capable of demonstrating these characteristics within an interview environment. However, I also have a huge enthusiasm for the job and possess a wide variety of creative ideas that I believe could catapult the Academy to the very forefront of sexual therapy.

Certainly I feel there is considerable potential for touring exhibitions – perhaps a series of outdoor demonstrations to fire both public and media interest? I would be happy to discuss my ideas with you in more detail and look forward to hearing from you soon…

Regards

Oliver Davies.

I’m certain that the Academy of Sex and Relationships will be quick to get me onboard once they see the quality of my ideas and, perhaps, this summer you can look out for a cycling sextravaganza coming to an A-road near you…