Well, it's that time of year again and, after the sterling success of my Eurovision drinking game last year (and the vague hangover that followed), I decided that I should really follow up with a revised version of the game which can be played while watching the BBC coverage of the 2010 Eurovision Song Contest. As before, some of the rules are slightly UK-centric so, if you intend to play this in another country, just ignore rules 1, 5 and 19 and knock back three shots before you get started.
Now, a word of warning; this game is based upon the consumption of strong alcohol. I cannot, therefore, be held responsible for your health (or lack of) if you stringently follow the rules of my game and drink yourself into oblivion. Play this game at your own risk…
1. A shot glass for every person playing (probably best to have a couple of spares in case people get excited).
2. For true authenticity you need several bottles of Akevitt or Aquavit (a favoured Norwegian spirit made from potatoes and carraway seeds) but, assuming your local Tesco has failed to replenish its Akevitt supplies, I would recommend a decent vodka. If in doubt go with Stolichnaya...
The rules are very simple. You take a sip of Aquavit (or vodka) if:
1) Pete Waterman is mentioned. Drink an entire shot if the camera picks him out in the audience.
2) Either of the hosts attempts to sing.
3) Either host pretends to be surprised at something said or done by the other in a clearly well rehearsed piece of improvisation.
4) Either of the hosts loses track of their autocue.
5) Anyone sitting in the room with you mentions Terry Wogan. Drink an entire shot if someone says something along the lines of ‘It’s not the same without Terry Wogan’ - he's been gone for two years people! Deal with it!
6) The video shown before an act contains shots of people in traditional costumes. Drink two shots if anyone is seen doing the traditional Norwegian Halling dance. And, yes, I know it looks eerily similar to some of the scenes from Monty Python's Silly Walk sketch...
8) You aren’t entirely sure whether the singer is man who looks like a woman, or a woman who looks like a man.
9) A country is represented by a singer from somewhere else in the world.
10) The act involves people on stage banging large drums or industrial objects acting as large drums.
11) An item of clothing is removed on stage. Drink an entire shot if it is removed by someone else.
12) The act is bald. Drink an entire shot if they are also female.
13) The act possesses a large moustache.
14) The act is dressed in leather. Drink an entire shot if they are dressed in leather and have a large moustache.
15) If you hear a language used other than that of the nation who is singing (i.e French singing in a song by Malta). One sip per language. If in doubt, take a sip.
16) You recognise the song immediately as being a blatant rip off of a previous winner of Eurovision.
17) The song is an ode to world peace. Drink three shots immediately if there are any children on stage at any time during the song.
18) Every time there is an awkward silence and/or miscommunication between the hosts and the people reading out the votes. Drink an entire shot if the votes get mixed up.
19) Every time you hear "Royaume-Uni? Nil point!"
20) Every time a country gives top marks to someone for geographic, political or ethnic reasons. Drink an entire shot if they give them to Russia because they’re worried they won’t get any gas next Winter otherwise.
21) If there is any alcohol left once the show is finished and you’re physically capable of coordinating the movement of alcohol from the bottle to your mouth.